Relena and the pretty red self destruct button
by HeeroHottie
Summary: yaoi impl's at the end, Majior OOC Heero, um what happens when Relena and a self destruct button meet?


Disclaimers: I don't own. yet ^_^ you can't sue me because all you'd get is a death glare and a bullet to the face so unless you like money (which I don't have) more than life stay away.   
  
Warnings: hmmm.. Well mostly OOC Heero, Yaoi implications at the end, MAJIOR Relena bashing, and above all else Humor so enjoy.   
  
Relena, and the pretty red self-destruct button...  
  
Duo walks into the gundam hanger and finds Heero working on Wing Zero "Hey s'up Heero"  
  
"Hn"  
  
"Huh? What's that button do? I've never seen it before" Duo was looking at the big red button   
  
inside Wing.  
  
"It's my new self-destruct button you like it?"  
  
"uh.. yeah. but don't you already have one?" Duo said pointing to Heero's old self-destruct button.  
  
"yeah but this ones cooler and it's soo big and red and pretty" Heero starts humming the  
  
Sailor Moon theme song.  
  
"okaaay' uh I'm going to paint Deathscythe rainbow colors want to help?"  
  
"No, and why do you want to paint your gundam?...hmhm.. she is the one sailor moon..."  
  
"I don't know it will look pretty, well I'm going."  
  
Just then a strong wind started blowing, the skies got dark, and it started to thunder and lightning flashed, and the sound of a voice." hhheeeeerrrroooooo"  
  
Duo looks up at Heero in dumbfounded shock "kuso! she found us"  
  
Heero starts to jump off of his gundam but there was an ear shattering scream."Hhhhheeeerrrrroooo I foouuunnd yyooouuu at laaaasst."  
  
Heero falls to his knees clamping his hands over his ears, then looks up and sees Relena coming down the driveway and starts banging his head on the side of Wing's foot ."Kuso *Bang* why *Bang* did *Bang* she *Bang* have to *Bang* find me *Bang* here!?! *Bang, Bang, Bang*."  
  
Relena pulls up and gets out and runs to a now unconcious Heero who has a huge lump on his head.  
  
"oh Heero are you ok?" Relena starts shaking him and he slowly starts coming to, when he sees   
  
Relena he jumps up and tries to run to the cockpit, she gets up and runs after him." wait Heero I need to ask you somthing"  
  
"Kisama onna! why wont you leave me the hell alone!?! I will not marry you, I will not screw you, I will not hold you, I will not eat green eggs and ham, I wont I wont Sam I am."  
  
"What??"  
  
"uh"  
  
"never mind just listen to me I have to tell you something"" Relena is about to collaps, not to mention she has closed her eyes and has passed Heero and is now about to run head first into a barrel of nuclear waste, but unfortunatlly she misses and hits a pole instead. Duo burst into laughter, Heero tries not to laugh but fails miserably. Relena must not have noticed Heero because she yelled at Duo to stop laughing.  
  
~~~~~After a few minutes of yelling~~~~~  
  
Heero falls to the floor and starts rocking from side to side, Relena runs over to him "Heero are you ok?" Heero couldn't hear a word she said because he was to busy having visions of cupcakes, sugarplums, and this weird vision of Relena tied to Wings buster riffle, and her burnt crispy body floating through space after Heero fired it and detached it from Wing's arm. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooooo" That LOUD screech brought Heero back to reality and he jumped to his feet and said "Relena can I tie you Wing's buster riffle?" his eyes are still big and he now has a even bigger smile on (looks kinda psychotic) "um.right anyway what I wanted to tell you is that I love you and I want you to marry me"  
  
Heero starts skipping around the hanger "do you know the muffin man, the muffin man, the muffin man, do you know the muffin man.lala lala laaa" On his third trip around he stops beside Relena and, eyes and smile still huge, says "sure Relena lets get married, how bout tomorrow, no today" and he then proceeds to start doing the chicken dance. Relena does a flip, or at least she tried to, but landed flat on her ass again. She got up and started jumping up and down, Bad idea her high heels got stuck in the ground and broke off "oh darn" Heero looks up at her, but doesn't stop his dancing "Relena before we go there's something inside wing for you, why don't you go get it?" "ohhhhhh, a gift for me?" she starts her climb up to Wing's cockpit with her broken high heels and all. Once she's in she looks then calls down to chicken boy "Heero I can't find it"  
  
"shut the door, it's there" As soon as Relena shuts the door Heero pulls out a remote controle and presses a button that makes Wing fly up through the roof and once it is so high you can barley see it Heero pushes another button and then BOOM-Y Wing explodes.   
  
Duo stares up into the sky that once held Wing Zero, but now nothing but a few pieces of Wing, and mabey some body parts.  
  
Heero is dancing in a circle singing "the bitch is dead, the bitch is dead, the wicked bitch of the west is dead, .hahahahahahahahaha" Duo continues to stare. until a piece of gundanium comes falling out of the sky and through the hanger and barley misses Heero, who just stops dancing stares for a minute then points and laughs. "Duo!!" Heero glomps Duo and yells "Now we can have all the sex we want without her interrupting us"   
  
"Heero I'm happy for that too, but what happened to you?" Heero looks up at him and says "I found your coffee stash and ate some.a lot. the whole bag." Duo looks straight ahead out to nothing and with his eye twitching "Y-you ate the w-whole bag?"   
  
"yeah"  
  
"Heero coffee is meant for drinking not eating" (the twitching)  
  
"so I was hungry"  
  
"well you sure got a lot of energy, what say we go up to my room and work some of it off huh?"  
  
"Yay sure lets go" and with that Heero drags Duo into the house and up the stairs, into the room and shuts the door.  
  
OWARI^_^  
  
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Hahahahaha was that good or what?!? Um Relena was actually supposed to kill herself with the button Heero instaled, but I couldn't think of anything for that so I just went with whatever my muses told me to write and this is it. Tell me what you think please ^_^ this is my first one shot  
  
I don't know what possessed me to write it. oh well I think it's pretty funny.  
  
BYE ^_^ 


End file.
